If Christ has not been died, there was no resurrection of Christ;

If Christ has not been risen, our faith was futile & we were still in sins.

Tuesday, 18 October 2011

The Vicissitude of Mankind's Heart.

Something has struck a heartstrings of mine and my heartstrings keeps dedicating for it.
But my heartstrings is time to stop playing.
People might be wondering it swiftly changed somehow.

All the while, you'll never know how much your words hurt me indirectly,
perhaps you don't even know you did. And I perceived our paces are different anymore.

Is your love just as shallow as a swimming pool?
Do you desire of fame & gold much than GOD?
How long didn't you intimate with Him?

People always say : "the vicissitude of the world is just a blink of an eye." 
but a mankind's heart shifts faster than the world. 

For GOD's sake, I withdrew, being a single and I'm indeed inappropriate to get into a relationship
even till now. But my heart does keep going on. Unfortunately, you don't.

Where is my splendid smile?
I believe it will be appearing in front of everybody very soon. :')
At this moment, I would rather obey GOD as well.

It seems like there is full of regrets from the way I wrote.
What I'm expressing is there might be sorrowful but undoubtedly I have no regrets and even full of gratitudes.
  • I really thank God so much, this relationship was ended up before the thing gets worsen.
  • I do believe His blessings will fall on me.
  • I could be a better and more obedient disciple of Jesus through this lesson.
For His sake, I would get rid of it.

Wednesday, 5 October 2011

The Choice

Something quite new that I never felt & experienced before.
But I wonder is that great for me?

Some questions had been appearing on my mind as:
" Is that all my fault? "
" Is all the misunderstanding caused by my past transgressions? "

And the truth tells me, "YES, it is."

I was a person who didn't peer with GOD consistently,
a person who didn't care people's feelings while I spoke,
a person who were indeed self-abased.
a person who had grabbed for own attention.
a person who liked to scramble achievements / fame.
etc.....
Because I was really ego.

For now I thank GOD, He has been leading me towards a path of eternal life.
Let me see my inner & my sins more clearly in day by day.

Thus, I decided to work for Him, even shine for Him as well
no matter how difficult / rough the issues I will confront in the future.

I'm trying to make a change in any aspects with GOD's words and
keep moving forward for GOD's word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path.
I'm grateful for everything He has done for me, making my life brighter and fruitful.
I have made a breakthrough !

However, this is the beginning of a nightmare.
Perhaps people's heart were already carved about what I had done,
perhaps they had tolerated me, advised, tried to persuade me for countless times.
So they could not see the renew of mine for temporary? I don't know, it's a hesitation.

Once I wanna do something for Lord, they doubt my motive.
Once I wish to peer with my treasured sheep, they distort my purpose.

How can it be? How come they don't understand me?
Gimme some oxygen? I'm obviously lacking of it and it makes me gonna asphyxiate.
I know everything needs time to make clear, but I perceived my existence is never reduce
you guys' prejudice unto me. All of you doubt my personality even.
It really makes me feel gonna burst because there is full of self-blame in the bottom of my heart.
What I wanna express is you'll feel helpless and disappointed when people who surround you
totally misunderstand what you're actually doing.

In a glance of an eye, my Bible appeared in front of my eyes,
I automatically picked it up and spoke to Him before browsing :
"My Father in heaven, how precious to me are your thoughts,
how vast is the sum of them."

the LORD declares:
 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,
  As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways
  and my thoughts than your thoughts."
I shall obey your thoughts and not to obey mine.

LORD, how should I make a choice among these both questions,
Shall I withdraw?  To stay or to leave? *mind struggling*
If I stay, I could still be with my sheeps and lead them to be a disciple of yours.
If I leave, I could step forward to another realm to serve you as well.
Yet I guarantee I'll undoubtedly obey your guidance & never abandon you,

because I'm joyful to be with you. :-)

Saturday, 1 October 2011

唏嘘却喜乐

事物虽已过境迁,
为何吾心仍挂牵?


所有错误已从我这里落幕,
我决定再不占据你的篇幅,
因为那天起一切早已结束。
虽然这段恋情是铭心刻骨,
当你的悲喜有了容身之处,
我依然会深深地给予祝福。
神依然会引领咱们的前路直永久!

我并不奢望你会知道我有部落格。
也许永远都无人会阅读此文章,由于我是故意将此文章放到后面。
但是有些事情我一直收藏在心里,我从来都没有告诉你,
因为我没有这个勇气让你知道在我内心深处的感想,
也许你知道后会令你感到折磨/亏欠/愧疚/埋怨自己/无奈。
我只盼望你过得很好,无牵挂。
所以倘若有一天你与此文章有缘份,我相信是你应该知道的时候临到了。

你曾告诉我:“你的出现是我往后选择配偶的标准。”
所以在此,
我惟有藉着这个唯一的管道向你表明心迹。

我是真心要感谢你,

若非上帝安排你的出现,我根本不知道我一直以来都忽略了我的父母。
若非曾看见你的状况,我根本都不晓得自己的情绪会令身边周遭的人感到难受。
你的出现,使我深深明白与了解自己原来可以喜欢一个人那么深,那么久。
即使我们已久没见面了,对你的思念根本就未曾停止。
即使你诉苦/你的缺点一直在我眼前显露而出时,我都可以忍耐你,包容你,接纳你。
我没想过即使听见你心仪另人而受伤至崩溃后,曾经对你所起的涟漪至今仍然在波动。

一直以来,我都活在一种恐惧内,害怕自己是用情不专,利用朋友的关心,etc.......
你的存在,让我完全地看见自己可以很真诚地对待家人、朋友、异族同胞、你。
甚至,上帝。

你知道吗?选择与你了断这段感情,目前是我一生中感到非常残酷又辛苦,甚至挣扎的决定。
因为我发掘一件真相:我真的很喜欢你而且不是盲目地喜欢你。
我猜我的决定会令你感到很沮丧,甚至觉得我非常狠心又自私。
可是再次诚实地告诉你,
就是因为我的自私,所以选择跟你开始这段恋情,在那当儿我希望可以透过上帝跟我的关系去改变你,但我完全误解了上帝的旨意。
并非我的自私跟你分手,我真的是为你与神的关系着想,一方面也是遵照神的启迪。
并不是你不帅,不成熟或者很多缺点,而是:
  1. 上帝在你心中的地位无形中被我占据了
  2. 我拦住了你与上帝建立关系的时刻
  3. 咱们在信仰的认识上有些差距,而且太多不同的观点
  4. 我们相信三位一体之真神,可是却抱负着不同的异象
  5. 时间点不适合,由于在那时我跟你的异象都不清晰。
  6. 我很享受跟你交流的时间,但其实我更渴望可以与你和上帝一同交流的时刻。
  7. 我们彼此没有足够的成熟度去分担对方的困难,协助他/她解决问题。
  8. 感情的基础并不完全是仅于感觉,而是彼此的认识。(如同我们与神的关系,神先爱我们,而且我们对耶稣存有爱是因为我们认识他的属性。)反之,我们彼此的认识真的不够深厚。
我希望你的信仰是建立在上帝的应许上;
我希望你的灵命是可以独立思考上帝的话语。
同时,
我不希望往后我会成为你的压力,一直都是我的意见,会造成我认识你的障碍。
虽然我不晓得是否上帝拣选你成为我以后的伴侣,但我很肯定现在并不是时候。
但愿以后我们各自的恋情,不是为了填补自己的缺爱和对爱的渴慕在一起,
而是预备好自己的心思意念,已经在单身是被上帝塑造成一个可以祝福和成全伴侣的器皿。
所以至今仍坚定于神的指引,决定是对的。
你的存在,是上帝让我成长,陶造我的过程。

这段感情虽短如一瞬间,可是却令我的待人处事、情绪管理、为人设想改进了很多。
我终于可以独立地去面对自己的问题,勇于接纳自己的短缺。
而且,在上帝的话语上扎实了很多,渐渐地了解基督,
耶稣的话语深触我心,关系越来越亲密。
原来我最爱和最需要的还是上帝、耶稣和圣灵,我愿一生效法基督。
让我们一起效法基督的样式吧!